Psychologist Dr Shad Helmstetter wrote the book What To Say When You Talk To Yourself. I heard of the book from Zig Ziglar who mentioned it in both his talks and his books.
My wife calls me 'The Word Police' because I regularly suggest to her and other people how to phrase something in a more positive way or not to say it at all. This book reinforced what I already knew from years of conditioning my thoughts and words.
Many people make statements on a daily basis that are commanding and conditioning their subconscious minds to bring on what they fear the most.
Have you made any of these statements or heard others make them?
I am too tired
I am too busy
I could never do that
I feel a cold coming on
I never do that well
Do you or anyone you know make these types of statements while driving?
That person is an idiot
I hope he gets into an accident
The words you speak out loud and the words you speak to yourself (30,000-60,000 daily) are direct commands to your subconscious mind.
The focus of What To Say When You Talk To Yourself is to purposefully prepare your own Self-Talk to replace previous beliefs that were passed on to you as you grew up.
Consider complaining as an example of using your words correctly. I consider a complaint anything you purposefully choose to speak about that you would prefer to be better. That means that many statements are complaints.
For instance, with my Rheumatoid Arthritis I could say 'I am sore and in pain' every single day as a statement of fact.
What benefit does that statement bring to me or the people around me who would hear it every day? NONE! It is commanding myself to focus on the pain and adding no value to my wife or anyone else who would hear it on a regular basis.
Recently, someone I have known through church for 12 years was surprised to learn I have had Rheumatoid Arthritis since the age of 5. She was mentioning that she has one of the forms of arthritis. I was familiar with it and mentioned there are over 100 types of arthritis. She asked how I knew that and that is how she found out I have had it since the age of 5 and have had 4 hips, 4 knees, and 2 shoulders replaced. I never bring up how I am feeling with other people and, although my disability is visible, people do not ask me about it.
Here is what Dr Shad Helmstetter recommends and what I will be doing to implement ideas from the book.
1. Purposefully sit down and write positive, present tense, statements about the ideal thoughts, emotions, and behaviours that you want your ideal self to live out. Also write the same positive, present tense statements about situations like your marriage, job, parenting, boss, and income for instance.
2. Record those statements enthusiastically into your smartphone.
3. Play that recording every day, more than once if possible.
4. Repeat those statements to yourself, out loud or quietly, as part of your 30,000 - 60,000 daily thoughts.
The international Self-Talk best-seller, (completely updated in the new Amazon Kindle eBook edition).
Each of us is programmed from birth on, and as much as 75% or more of our programming may be negative or working against us. In the newly updated eBook edition, Shad Helmstetter shows the reader how to erase and replace past mental programs with healthy, new programs that can be positively life-changing. Considered by many to be one of the most important and helpful personal growth books ever written.
Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., is the best-selling author of more than a dozen books in the field of personal growth. His books are published in over 64 countries worldwide. He has appeared on more than 1200 radio and television programs including Oprah Winfrey, and ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN News.